Capítulo 164: Que cajado pesado

A crucial performance was fast approaching. Hiding behind a distant slope, Chen Mo and the others could not help holding their breath, full of anticipation for Mu Yun’s ultimate act.

In fact, there was no need for her to display any particular charm or grievance; she simply had to strike a pose and cry out a few times with tears in her eyes, proclaiming her injustice.

To be extra thorough, considering that Mu Yun possessed no emotional capacity whatsoever, Chen Mo had even gathered a few onions beforehand, ready to secretly rub them against her eyes...

"Cry! Just cry for me!" Chen Mo muttered softly, unable to restrain himself as he stretched his neck, wishing he could step in and do it himself.

At that moment, Zhu Bajie had already stepped out of the protective circle, walking straight over to snatch the vegetable basket from Mu Yun's hands.

Driven entirely by lust, this wretched pig actually extended his hoof with a lecherous grin, pretending it was an accident as he pinched Mu Yun's delicate hand, making it blatantly obvious that he intended to take advantage of her...

"Ah!" Before he could taste any of those benefits, the pitiful pig let out a mournful cry, instantly clutching his fractured left arm as he hopped up and down.

Come to think of it, who could possibly know human anatomy better than Mu Yun? Coupled with the fact that Zhu Bajie had let his guard down completely, this simple twist of the arm instantly turned him into a one-armed hero... No, a one-armed giant pig, to be precise!

"Ugh..." At this moment, the strange sound was not only made by the dumbfounded Tang Seng and Sha Seng, but also by the onlookers watching from behind the slope.

After a few seconds of utter shock, Sha Seng immediately grabbed his Zen staff, his face tense with vigilance as he shielded Tang Seng—even a fool would know this! A woman with such formidable strength could hardly be an ordinary village girl!

"I knew something would go wrong!" Watching their entire plan fall apart, Chen Mo could only slap his forehead in speechlessness.

After freezing for a few seconds, he turned to look at Guan San beside him, suddenly struck by a brilliant idea: "Well... Old Guan, a rescue is as urgent as putting out a fire. It's time for you to shine!"

Setting aside the discussion over on this side, Mu Yun, having just made her move, resumed her nonchalant expression.

Glancing at the wary Tang Seng and his companions, she hesitated briefly before walking forward with a calm demeanor.

Zhu Bajie was cradling his fractured left arm with tears streaming down his face. Seeing this woman approach again, he shrieked in panic, "Y-You, what do you want?"

"For you to eat!" Expressionless, Mu Yun lifted the vegetable basket and extended it flatly toward Zhu Bajie.

At that moment, the entire scene fell dead silent. Everyone rolled their eyes frantically, as if they had just seen a ghost.

Zhu Bajie's brain cells were clearly overwhelmed; no matter how hard he tried to think, he simply couldn't understand why the woman who had just broken his bones was now stubbornly insisting on giving him food...

Was this what legends referred to as giving someone a slap and then offering a sweet date?

"Master, be careful! There's something fishy about this!" Sha Seng involuntarily tightened his grip on his Zen staff, whispering a warning in Tang Seng's ear. "Let old Sha go out and fight for a while. Master, you must not leave this circle! Just hold out for a moment until First Senior Brother..."

"Disciple, do not be impudent!" Before he could finish speaking, a shout echoed from afar. Guan San strode onto the stage, stroking his beard and wielding a blade with dazzling flair. He leaped from a bluestone, soared over ten meters through the air, and landed gracefully like a giant bird.

Witnessing such lightness kung fu, Sha Seng and Zhu Bajie exchanged glances and praised in unison, "Fine martial arts! Truly magnificent martial arts!"

"You flatter me!" Turning back with an air of complete indifference, Guan San immediately followed the predetermined script, cupping his fists with an open and frank expression. "Forgive me for startling you all. This disciple of mine is heavy-handed and cruel; I am truly sorry... Disciple, come over here and apologize at once!"

"No need!" Before Mu Yun could even process this, Tang Seng, standing safely within the protective barrier, had already pressed his palms together in a return salute.

Zhu Bajie, however, was not so accommodating. He muttered grumpily under his breath, "Are you kidding me? I just accidentally brushed against her hand, and bam—she snaps it right off! And right after snapping it, she still insists on treating us to dinner... Honestly, is she out of her mind?"

"Ah? How did the Reverend know?" Hearing Zhu Bajie's words, Guan San immediately put on a look of profound astonishment, blurting out in disbelief.

Zhu Bajie froze for a moment, dumbfounded. "What? You mean she actually is out of her mind?"

"Precisely so!" Guan San nodded slightly, then stroked his beard with a long, sorrowful sigh, putting on a thoroughly pained, heartbroken, and depressed expression.

Amidst the curious gazes of the group, he waved his hand to signal Mu Yun to walk a bit further away before lowering his voice. "To be honest with you, this disciple of mine was once gentle and virtuous, and even made a lifelong promise to the son of a wealthy family."

"However, that young master was later tempted by outward beauty and broke his vow of loyalty... As the saying goes: the groom got married, but the bride wasn't me!"

"Ugh... And then?" Hearing this tragic love story, the three disciples and their master could not help exchanging glances, their curiosity piqued all the more—proving that gossip is a universal human pursuit.

While reciting the script silently in his heart, Guan San maintained a look of deep anxiety on his face, letting out a sympathetic and prolonged sigh. "After that, my disciple developed a demonic obsession in her heart, grew to hate all men under heaven, and stirred up a storm of blood and slaughter throughout the pugilistic world."

"Later on, although she was reformed by my guidance, she still refuses to be close to any man. That's why, when this Reverend accidentally touched her just now..."

"Ah! So that's how it is!" Moved by the twists and turns of the tale, the three listeners sighed together, pressing their palms together to quietly recite a Buddhist scripture.

Tang Seng bowed to Guan San once more, saying respectfully, "Benevolent! We've been talking for so long, and yet I still do not know your esteemed surname or that of your disciple. Forgive my rudeness!"

"You flatter me! I am merely a country bumpkin from the mountains, not worth mentioning!" Guan San returned the bow with folded palms, then pointed toward Mu Yun. "As for my disciple, she was once a renowned figure in the martial arts world, known far and wide as the Jade-like Rakshasa Li Mochou, a direct disciple of the Ancient Tomb Sect of Mount Zhongnan!"

"Thud!" Hearing this, the group observing from behind the slope fell flat onto the ground in absolute unison, rolling their eyes with their limbs sprawled toward the sky.

Nuonuo swayed unsteadily, crying out with a face full of adoration, "Boss! You are too hardcore! You actually managed to plagiarize this melodramatic trope... No wonder! No wonder it sounded so familiar when you were talking about tragic love stories just now!"

"Naturally! This particular excerpt from Mr. Louis Cha's works is most fitting for the present situation!" Gazing ahead with a beaming smile, Chen Mo was immensely pleased with himself.

"Otherwise, how else could we explain Mu Yun's overwhelming strength? Furthermore, with a background as pitiful as hers, it will thoroughly arouse Tang Seng's compassion. Who knows, he might even give her a personal scripture lecture to help dispel the demonic obsession in her heart..."

In fact, Chen Mo's guess was entirely accurate. Having listened to Guan San's adapted version of *The Return of the Condor Heroes*, the look in Tang Seng's eyes as he gazed at Mu Yun had completely changed.

Bringing his palms together with a soft sigh, he instinctively stepped out of the protective barrier and said solemnly, "Female benefactor, you must understand that everything has a prior cause; there is no need to harbor such persistent obsessions! Sit, and let this poor monk expound upon the nature of cause and effect..."

As he spoke, Tang Seng lifted his foot, looking as though he was about to step completely out of the safe zone.

Guan San was still maintaining his beard-stroking pose, but his eyes never left Tang Seng. Seeing this, joy welled up in his heart.

At that very instant, just as he was about to leap forward to snatch the cassock, an angry shout suddenly erupted from the sky like a thunderclap: "Monsters! Taste my old Sun's staff!"

"Boom!" Before the roar had even faded, the Golden-Hooped Rod came crashing down with boundless force, sending violent shockwaves rippling through the air like a raging tide.

Mindful of his master and junior fellow apprentices nearby, Sun Xingzhe had only used half of his true strength for this strike. Even so, Mu Yun, who had no time to evade whatsoever, would have been instantly pounded into meat pie.

Before anyone could recover their senses, the staff—having already smashed a massive crater into the ground—swung horizontally. This time, it was Guan San's turn to be sent flying amidst a miserable shriek!

"So strong! So strong!" Watching this scene unfold from the distant slope, Chen Mo could only bite his fingernails and tremble slightly.

This was entirely different from the special effects seen on television; it was something no special effect could ever truly portray. Only by witnessing it with one's own eyes could one truly grasp the terrifying power of Sun Xingzhe.

Chen Mo even found himself thinking that if this staff were to so much as graze him, he would likely never lay eyes on the following day's sun.

Fortunately, after flattening both Mu Yun and Guan San, Sun Xingzhe did not go looking for other enemies—in truth, he didn't even have the time.

Following the established plot, he was given a lengthy and thorough scolding by Tang Seng, only receiving forgiveness after swearing never to do it again.

Watching them drag out their nagging, however, Chen Mo couldn't help but worry about the flattened duo of Mu Yun and Guan San...

Heaven preserve them, hopefully by the time he got over there, those two hadn't turned completely into bare bones and splintered wood!

"Boss, they're leaving!" Amidst the tense atmosphere, Guo Guo's reminder finally snapped Chen Mo out of his anxious reverie.

Watching the four pilgrims set off up the mountain, he hurriedly turned to instruct Che Che: "Che Che, take a shortcut and get ahead of them. Create a mudslide to block the road, and then have Xun'er execute Plan B..."

"Received!" Che Che revved the engine without a moment's hesitation, speeding away along the narrow path.

Chen Mo let out a soft sigh of relief, watching the four figures recede into the distance. Once they had completely vanished behind the trees, he sprang to his feet and rushed hastily toward the large tree: "Save them! Hurry up and save them! Call an ambulance!"

Babbling incoherently, the group swarmed toward the base of the tree. Several mechanical creations immediately went to work alongside the demons, digging out Mu Yun and Guan San, who were now deeply buried in the soil.

By this point, Mu Yun had been reduced to a bare skeleton, while poor Guan San had been broken straight through the middle.

Fortunately, neither of them had actually kicked the bucket yet. Mu Yun even used her remaining skull to report her safety: "I'm fine! Quickly, find me some replacement bones!"

"Already prepared!" Without waiting for Chen Mo's command, Guo Guo opened its mouth and spat out a massive pile of bones. What followed next was naturally a game of jigsaw puzzles.

Amidst the chaos, nobody knew who was causing trouble, but Guan San—who was now left with only a single head—let out a booming roar of fury: "Outrageous! Who just stepped on my beard? Get your foot off me right now!"